Improving Self-Esteem: How to Start Appreciating Yourself?

People frequently fail to recognize their accomplishments, suffer from self-doubt, and do not acknowledge the amazing qualities that others notice in them. As a result, their lives are less vibrant and fulfilling than they could be. For instance, they believe they are not intelligent enough to apply to a prestigious university; they are afraid to interview for their dream job, and they are embarrassed to invite a nice coworker for coffee. What can a person do to stop missing out on opportunities because they don’t value themselves? Here are a few steps to start appreciating yourself.

What Does a Person Want?

The easiest way to understand one desire is to observe daily activities. Usually, the body doesn’t deceive, and what a person does during the day shows their true goals and values.

Sometimes it happens that a person forces themselves to do something that does not inspire them. Then one should consider where this false desire came from. Perhaps it has something to do with parental expectations or social habits.

The year is coming to an end, the time of miracles, and Christmas is coming. And of course, it’s time to take stock! Remember and write down for a start what you are grateful for this year, and what you are truly proud of! Stop devaluing yourself, and remember your victories and not only big ones, but also small ones! Everyone has them! For example, our marketing manager is proud that she got the license, the product manager was finally able to find another apartment, the developer launched new experiments with AI, and our marketing assistant moved to another country. Big or small, these are all achievements!

Why Does a Person Not See Their Value?

When a person does not notice their talents, skills, and good qualities and feels deprived of any virtues, they devalue themselves. One can devalue not only themselves but also other people. So, usually, the problem of low self-esteem starts in childhood. If a person does not value themselves, it means that when they were a kid, the adults around them did not notice and did not appreciate their talents, skills, and efforts.

It is important to remember all the devaluing remarks from childhood and understand that they are unfair and have no meaning in one’s life. Taking devaluing voices seriously and listening to them can be very harmful

How to Fix Everything?

The good news is that if adults ignored a person’s achievements and didn’t teach them to value themselves when they were a child, they can learn to appreciate themselves on their own. The main thing one needs to do is to recall their talents, skills, or achievements and give them value. For example, it is possible to assign a value to know a foreign language, baking chocolate chip cookies, or being good at swimming.

It is also critical to distinguish between value and rarity. There is an opinion that if everyone has some skill, then it is not valuable. This is not true! One should appreciate everything they are good at.

If a person finds it difficult to praise themselves, it may be helpful to get someone else’s opinion. It’s okay to ask friends and coworkers what talents and qualities they value, consult a psychologist, or chat with AI companion Nova to start appreciating oneself.